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How are you managing your energy?\u00a0 Are you losing something of yourself?<\/p>\n
When you are successful, some don’t like what you have to say.\u00a0 They want what you have.\u00a0 Continue and overcome the obstacles in your path.<\/p>\n
Keep the conversation going and negotiate, negotiate, negotiate.\u00a0 You may be defending others as well as yourself when you become the spokesperson for the group.<\/p>\n
Please just consider your self-awareness.\u00a0 Protection becomes important as you are asked to defend your accomplishments.<\/p>\n
Turn to your integrity, positive energy, and your good intentions.\u00a0 You don’t have to accept criticism as truth.\u00a0 Instead, align yourself with your highest values.<\/p>\n
This may mean that you have to draw the confidence within yourself to say “no”.\u00a0 If you find yourself at odds with your conscience, this is the time to set your boundaries.<\/p>\n
Continue on and supplement this with your diet whenever you can.\u00a0 This is a time for introspection, self-care, wisdom, and a healing diet.<\/p>\n
Set your sights on the future while you leave adversity behind.<\/p>\n
Your job isn’t easy.\u00a0 But, remember, you have this job because of your prior success.<\/p>\n
A STORY<\/p>\n
“Don’t go away.\u00a0 I need to talk to you.”\u00a0 A man approached me in the basement hallway.\u00a0 As he spoke, the hair on my neck stood up.<\/p>\n
The scene is etched in my memory.\u00a0 I don’t think I’ll ever forget the feeling or the toothy grin he showed that afternoon.\u00a0 I’m convinced he practiced for years turning himself into the big bad wolf he projected.<\/p>\n
Stocking shelves in the food pantry, I prepared for the hungry people coming to shop in the food pantry soon.\u00a0 After filling the third shelf down from the top of a unit with canned green beans, I stepped into the hallway for a moment.<\/p>\n
“Good afternoon, sir.\u00a0 What can I do for you?”<\/p>\n
“For starters you can stop feeding all those people.\u00a0 Ever since you started working here, more and more people are standing in the halls waiting for food.\u00a0 You’re feeding too many people and I want it to stop.\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 Now.”<\/p>\n
The man standing over me in the hall was fat, old, angry.\u00a0 His toes pointed outward, an indication he had painful back issues.\u00a0 “I want to see your files on the people who use the pantry.”<\/p>\n
“I’m sorry sir.\u00a0 We don’t keep many files on our hoppers.\u00a0 We keep a journal where we record their names and number of people in each household.\u00a0 That’s all.”<\/p>\n
“Well, you should.\u00a0 No one should be allowed in this pantry who isn’t on food stamps.\u00a0 You’re feeding people who shouldn’t be coming here.<\/p>\n
“Just this last week you gave food to a man who you shouldn’t be feeding.\u00a0 He wrote a book and published it a couple of years ago and he shouldn’t even be here.\u00a0 He has a motorcycle.\u00a0 Writers make a lot of money.”<\/p>\n
I didn’t believe this story about the writer and his book, but I didn’t answer him back.<\/p>\n
“This man is definitely a threat to the pantry” went through my mind as he stood over me.\u00a0 “I’ll have to call the food bank about getting that kind of information.”<\/p>\n
Not a secret, he didn’t like the way I managed the pantry.\u00a0 And, he had grounds.\u00a0 Before 2007, the pantry served about twenty-five of Woodstock’s most colorful characters on Thursday mornings and now with the economy tanking, new hungry people showed up weekly.\u00a0 Lines got longer on every pantry day.<\/p>\n
The Hunger Prevention Nutrition Assistance Program (HPNAP) expanded pantry nutritional guidelines to include fresh produce, 1% milk, and whole-grain bread.\u00a0 Now, instead of shoppers getting a jar of peanut butter, a box of cereal, a can of tuna fish, they chose from shelves filled with fresh produce.\u00a0 Bread Alone sent bread weekly.<\/p>\n
These changes brought not only hungry people but mountains of cardboard.\u00a0 According to him, the pantry was overrun with vermin.\u00a0 No amount of reasoning convinced them otherwise.\u00a0 It didn’t matter one whit that not even one bug or mouse could be found in the pantry.<\/p>\n
Our boxed, canned, fresh, food arrived clean from the food bank with no insects or rodents.\u00a0 Food bank employees were proud of their clean food.\u00a0 The reason is simple.\u00a0 Rodents and insects prefer dark quiet conditions and immediately vacate a disturbed area.<\/p>\n
Food pantry stock is in constant motion, the best pesticide.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, here was this angry man staring at me and demanding to see files I didn’t have and the State didn’t have and the State didn’t require.\u00a0 And, if I had them, he wouldn’t see them anyway.<\/p>\n
“I can call the food bank and find out what files we need.\u00a0 However, an inspector was here only a few weeks ago, saw my paperwork, and pronounced everything excellent.\u00a0 We’ve never done anything like this before.\u00a0 After all, we’re not the police.”<\/p>\n
“Well, check into it NOW!” he said as he turned away, his toes still looking outward.\u00a0 With that, he walked away.<\/p>\n
He looked back at me then and grinned broadly, displaying a mouthful of large, yellow teeth.<\/p>\n
As he walked down the hall and out the door, I felt a terrible pain in my gut.\u00a0 My solar plexus was on fire.\u00a0 My adrenals knotted.\u00a0 I realized I was afraid.\u00a0 Cold.\u00a0 Hard.\u00a0 Fear.\u00a0 He threatened the food pantry.\u00a0 I knew in my gut that I was the only person standing in the way of his threat.\u00a0 Others would mutter things about a job not being worth the aggravation and walk away.<\/p>\n
It took a food pantry in a church basement in the most famous small town in America to teach me about fear in our country.\u00a0 Food shoppers and volunteers live with the peril of starvation daily.\u00a0 The subject is stark, deep, hidden, real.<\/p>\n
Full-blown fear wasn’t in my personal vocabulary, so I rarely felt it.<\/p>\n
At that moment I knew I wasn’t going to let panic get the best of me.\u00a0 People shopping at the food pantry were afraid of being hungry, being homeless, or being unemployed.<\/p>\n
I was not going to let go of this pantry.\u00a0 \u00a0I was not going to let go of this pantry.\u00a0 I was not going to let go.\u00a0 This anxiety stuck to me day and night.\u00a0 I felt unsafe every moment.<\/p>\n
It seems a bit strange, maybe unbelievable.\u00a0 Looking back on the whole experience, it was a steppingstone on the path to the pantry.\u00a0 We all lost things along the way.\u00a0 I lost a lot of fluff and met up wiwth the stark reality of hunger in our nation.<\/p>\n
I worked hard to avoid being overwhelmed by danger.\u00a0 First, I defined exactly what alarmed me.\u00a0 At that moment I knew exactly what that was.\u00a0 I was afraid to let pantry deniers close the pantry.\u00a0 I knew I had to negotiate my day-to-day work in the pantry to prevent that from happening.\u00a0 I had to find ways to make sure the people got what they were supposed to get.\u00a0 I had to balance things, so I didn’t go too fast but I had to implement the guidelines soon enough to satisfy the food banks.<\/p>\n
“I’m walking a tight rope high above an abyss.” I thought.\u00a0 I needed to be at my peak performance.<\/p>\n
I surrounded myself with people who lifted me up and who wanted me to lift them up.\u00a0 Volunteers and shoppers supported me even though they had no idea I needed it.\u00a0 People at the food bank inspired me and taught me to do my job better.\u00a0 People surrounding me made me successful because their support stopped anyone from holding me back.<\/p>\n
I knew he wanted me to leave.\u00a0 I decided then that I would not let that happen – not on his terms anyway.\u00a0 I would not leave because of what he did did.<\/p>\n
I stuck with my decision.\u00a0 I left on my own terms in 2013 when I took my experience and skills to Boiceville to open a new food pantry.<\/p>\n
Pantry deniers finally evicted the pantry in Woodstock in a public outburst several years later which ended up with a story in the local paper.<\/p>\n
I kept my mouth shut, much like a woman married to an alcoholic man who beat her.\u00a0 Whenever someone realized what was happening, I changed the subject and moved on to other topics.<\/p>\n
Hunger in America is a hidden shame.\u00a0 Those coping with it have smaller and smaller voices. As time passes, they have none.\u00a0 More and more people with more and more are blind to those choosing between food and rent.<\/p>\n
We know that the top 1% have more than the bottom 99%.\u00a0 From my tiny spot in the smalltown food pantry, I connected with it existentially.<\/p>\n
Volunteers defend the food pantry for the hungry people using it.\u00a0 They feed hundreds of people weekly with as much dignity as can be mustered under the circumstances.\u00a0 They attach no strings.<\/p>\n
Shoppers live the fear daily.\u00a0 There are no holidays.\u00a0 What are they afraid of?\u00a0 Hunger.\u00a0 Inadequate or no housing.\u00a0 No work.\u00a0 Healthcare costs.\u00a0 Clothing costs.\u00a0 Transportation costs.<\/p>\n
FOCUS IN<\/p>\n
Journal about what gives you resolution in your life.\u00a0 What do your purpose and your inner energy need now?<\/p>\n
MEDITATION<\/p>\n
`This meditation helps you find solutions to life challenges arising once you achieve your goals.\u00a0 Use it to creatively solve your problems and generate new ideas.<\/p>\n
Find a private and safe place for this meditation.\u00a0 Sit in a comfortable position.\u00a0 If\u00a0 you want, turn on some healing music, light a candle.<\/p>\n
Take in and out breaths.\u00a0 Breathe slowly and deeply\u00a0 The inbreaths encourage\u00a0 invigorating energy.\u00a0 The outbreaths release tired, worn out, toxic air.<\/p>\n
As you continue with your meditational breathing, focus on this problem while you inhale and exhale.<\/p>\n
After several grounding in and out breaths, you find yourself in a parklike setting.\u00a0 You notice the trees, the plants, the path nearby, and the bench you are sitting on.<\/p>\n
You think about your problem.\u00a0 Focus on ways you can resolve it.<\/p>\n
With each in-and-out breath, think about the different aspects of your problem and how protecting yourself fits into the overall picture.<\/p>\n
Think about how to protect yourself in your situation.<\/p>\n
As you do this, you get to know it intimately.\u00a0 How does it smell?\u00a0 Taste?\u00a0 Feel?\u00a0 Sound?<\/p>\n
Can you see your challenge as an opportunity?\u00a0 Can you see it as a solution?<\/p>\n
See the challenge now as a way to grow – to move forward on your path.<\/p>\n
Feel a sense of freedom as you see your problem’s new place on your path.<\/p>\n
You know it is time to return to the present.<\/p>\n
Focus now on the room where you began your meditation.<\/p>\n
It is time to join the world of now.<\/p>\n
You know you can return to this park and this resolution any time you want.<\/p>\n
Enjoy!<\/p>\n
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